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Alan Pease, author of a book titled "Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps", believes that women are spatially-challenged compared to men. The British firm, Admiral Insurance, conducted a study of half a million claims. They found that "women were almost twice as likely as men to have a collision in a car park, 23 percent more likely to hit a stationary car, and 15 percent more likely to reverse into another vehicle" (Reuters). Yet gender "differences" are often the outcomes of bad scholarship. Consider Admiral insurance's data. As Britain's Automobile Association (AA) correctly pointed out - women drivers tend to make more short journeys around towns and shopping centers and these involve frequent parking. Hence their ubiquity in certain kinds of claims. Regarding women's alleged spatial deficiency, in Britain, girls have been outperforming boys in scholastic aptitude tests - including geometry and maths - since 1988. On the other wing of the divide, Anthony Clare, a British psychiatrist and author of "On Men" wrote: "At the beginning of the 21st century it is difficult to avoid the conclusion that men are in serious trouble. Throughout the world, developed and developing, antisocial behavior is essentially male. Violence, sexual abuse of children, illicit drug use, alcohol misuse, gambling, all are overwhelmingly male activities. The courts and prisons bulge with men. When it comes to aggression, delinquent behavior, risk taking and social mayhem, men win gold." Men also mature later, die earlier, are more susceptible to infections and most types of cancer, are more likely to be dyslexic, to suffer from a host of mental health disorders, such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and to commit suicide. In her book, "Stiffed: The Betrayal of the American Man", Susan Faludi describes a crisis of masculinity following the breakdown of manhood models and work and family structures in the last five decades. In the film "Boys don't Cry", a teenage girl binds her breasts and acts the male in a caricatural relish of stereotypes of virility. Being a man is merely a state of mind, the movie implies. But what does it really mean to be a "male" or a "female"? Are gender identity and sexual preferences genetically determined? Can they be reduced to one's sex? Or are they amalgams of biological, social, and psychological factors in constant interaction? Are they immutable lifelong features or dynamically evolving frames of self-reference? Certain traits attributed to one's sex are surely better accounted for by cultural factors, the process of socialization, gender roles, and what George Devereux called "ethnopsychiatry" in "Basic Problems of Ethnopsychiatry" (University of Chicago Press, 1980). He suggested to divide the unconscious into the id (the part that was always instinctual and unconscious) and the "ethnic unconscious" (repressed material that was once conscious). The latter is mostly molded by prevailing cultural mores and includes all our defense mechanisms and most of the superego. So, how can we tell whether our sexual role is mostly in our blood or in our brains? The scrutiny of borderline cases of human sexuality - notably the transgendered or intersexed - can yield clues as to the distribution and relative weights of biological, social, and psychological determinants of gender identity formation. The results of a study conducted by Uwe Hartmann, Hinnerk Becker, and Claudia Rueffer-Hesse in 1997 and titled "Self and Gender: Narcissistic Pathology and Personality Factors in Gender Dysphoric Patients", published in the "International Journal of Transgenderism", "indicate significant psychopathological aspects and narcissistic dysregulation in a substantial proportion of patients." Are these "psychopathological aspects" merely reactions to underlying physiological realities and changes? Could social ostracism and labeling have induced them in the "patients"? The authors conclude: "The cumulative evidence of our study ... is consistent with the view that gender dysphoria is a disorder of the sense of self as has been proposed by Beitel (1985) or Pfäfflin (1993). The central problem in our patients is about identity and the self in general and the transsexual wish seems to be an attempt at reassuring and stabilizing the self-coherence which in turn can lead to a further destabilization if the self is already too fragile. In this view the body is instrumentalized to create a sense of identity and the splitting symbolized in the hiatus between the rejected body-self and other parts of the self is more between good and bad objects than between masculine and feminine." Freud, Kraft-Ebbing, and Fliess suggested that we are all bisexual to a certain degree. As early as 1910, Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld argued, in Berlin, that absolute genders are "abstractions, invented extremes". The consensus today is that one's sexuality is, mostly, a psychological construct which reflects gender role orientation. Joanne Meyerowitz, a professor of history at Indiana University and the editor of The Journal of American History observes, in her recently published tome, "How Sex Changed: A History of Transsexuality in the United States", that the very meaning of masculinity and femininity is in constant flux. Transgender activists, says Meyerowitz, insist that gender and sexuality represent "distinct analytical categories". The New York Times wrote in its review of the book: "Some male-to-female transsexuals have sex with men and call themselves homosexuals. Some female-to-male transsexuals have sex with women and call themselves lesbians. Some transsexuals call themselves asexual." So, it is all in the mind, you see. This would be taking it too far. A large body of scientific evidence points to the genetic and biological underpinnings of sexual behavior and preferences. The German science magazine, "Geo", reported recently that the males of the fruit fly "drosophila melanogaster" switched from heterosexuality to homosexuality as the temperature in the lab was increased from 19 to 30 degrees Celsius. They reverted to chasing females as it was lowered. The brain structures of homosexual sheep are different to those of straight sheep, a study conducted recently by the Oregon Health & Science University and the U.S. Department of Agriculture Sheep Experiment Station in Dubois, Idaho, revealed. Similar differences were found between gay men and straight ones in 1995 in Holland and elsewhere. The preoptic area of the hypothalamus was larger in heterosexual men than in both homosexual men and straight women. According an article, titled "When Sexual Development Goes Awry", by Suzanne Miller, published in the September 2000 issue of the "World and I", various medical conditions give rise to sexual ambiguity. Congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH), involving excessive androgen production by the adrenal cortex, results in mixed genitalia. A person with the complete androgen insensitivity syndrome (AIS) has a vagina, external female genitalia and functioning, androgen-producing, testes - but no uterus or fallopian tubes. People with the rare 5-alpha reductase deficiency syndrome are born with ambiguous genitalia. They appear at first to be girls. At puberty, such a person develops testicles and his clitoris swells and becomes a penis. Hermaphrodites possess both ovaries and testicles (both, in most cases, rather undeveloped). Sometimes the ovaries and testicles are combined into a chimera called ovotestis. Most of these individuals have the chromosomal composition of a woman together with traces of the Y, male, chromosome. All hermaphrodites have a sizable penis, though rarely generate sperm. Some hermaphrodites develop breasts during puberty and menstruate. Very few even get pregnant and give birth. Anne Fausto-Sterling, a developmental geneticist, professor of medical science at Brown University, and author of "Sexing the Body", postulated, in 1993, a continuum of 5 sexes to supplant the current dimorphism: males, merms (male pseudohermaphrodites), herms (true hermaphrodites), ferms (female pseudohermaphrodites), and females. Intersexuality (hermpahroditism) is a natural human state. We are all conceived with the potential to develop into either sex. The embryonic developmental default is female. A series of triggers during the first weeks of pregnancy places the fetus on the path to maleness. In rare cases, some women have a male's genetic makeup (XY chromosomes) and vice versa. But, in the vast majority of cases, one of the sexes is clearly selected. Relics of the stifled sex remain, though. Women have the clitoris as a kind of symbolic penis. Men have breasts (mammary glands) and nipples. The Encyclopedia Britannica 2003 edition describes the formation of ovaries and testes thus: "In the young embryo a pair of gonads develop that are indifferent or neutral, showing no indication whether they are destined to develop into testes or ovaries. There are also two different duct systems, one of which can develop into the female system of oviducts and related apparatus and the other into the male sperm duct system. As development of the embryo proceeds, either the male or the female reproductive tissue differentiates in the originally neutral gonad of the mammal." Yet, sexual preferences, genitalia and even secondary sex characteristics, such as facial and pubic hair are first order phenomena. Can genetics and biology account for male and female behavior patterns and social interactions ("gender identity")? Can the multi-tiered complexity and richness of human masculinity and femininity arise from simpler, deterministic, building blocks? Sociobiologists would have us think so. For instance: the fact that we are mammals is astonishingly often overlooked. Most mammalian families are composed of mother and offspring. Males are peripatetic absentees. Arguably, high rates of divorce and birth out of wedlock coupled with rising promiscuity merely reinstate this natural "default mode", observes Lionel Tiger, a professor of anthropology at Rutgers University in New Jersey. That three quarters of all divorces are initiated by women tends to support this view. Furthermore, gender identity is determined during gestation, claim some scholars. Milton Diamond of the University of Hawaii and Dr. Keith Sigmundson, a practicing psychiatrist, studied the much-celebrated John/Joan case. An accidentally castrated normal male was surgically modified to look female, and raised as a girl but to no avail. He reverted to being a male at puberty. His gender identity seems to have been inborn (assuming he was not subjected to conflicting cues from his human environment). The case is extensively described in John Colapinto's tome "As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Girl". HealthScoutNews cited a study published in the November 2002 issue of "Child Development". The researchers, from City University of London, found that the level of maternal testosterone during pregnancy affects the behavior of neonatal girls and renders it more masculine. "High testosterone" girls "enjoy activities typically considered male behavior, like playing with trucks or guns". Boys' behavior remains unaltered, according to the study. Yet, other scholars, like John Money, insist that newborns are a "blank slate" as far as their gender identity is concerned. This is also the prevailing view. Gender and sex-role identities, we are taught, are fully formed in a process of socialization which ends by the third year of life. The Encyclopedia Britannica 2003 edition sums it up thus: "Like an individual's concept of his or her sex role, gender identity develops by means of parental example, social reinforcement, and language. Parents teach sex-appropriate behavior to their children from an early age, and this behavior is reinforced as the child grows older and enters a wider social world. As the child acquires language, he also learns very early the distinction between "he" and "she" and understands which pertains to him- or herself." So, which is it - nature or nurture? There is no disputing the fact that our sexual physiology and, in all probability, our sexual preferences are determined in the womb. Men and women are different - physiologically and, as a result, also psychologically. Society, through its agents - foremost amongst which are family, peers, and teachers - represses or encourages these genetic propensities. It does so by propagating "gender roles" - gender-specific lists of alleged traits, permissible behavior patterns, and prescriptive morals and norms. Our "gender identity" or "sex role" is shorthand for the way we make use of our natural genotypic-phenotypic endowments in conformity with social-cultural "gender roles". Inevitably as the composition and bias of these lists change, so does the meaning of being "male" or "female". Gender roles are constantly redefined by tectonic shifts in the definition and functioning of basic social units, such as the nuclear family and the workplace. The cross-fertilization of gender-related cultural memes renders "masculinity" and "femininity" fluid concepts. One's sex equals one's bodily equipment, an objective, finite, and, usually, immutable inventory. But our endowments can be put to many uses, in different cognitive and affective contexts, and subject to varying exegetic frameworks. As opposed to "sex" - "gender" is, therefore, a socio-cultural narrative. Both heterosexual and homosexual men ejaculate. Both straight and lesbian women climax. What distinguishes them from each other are subjective introjects of socio-cultural conventions, not objective, immutable "facts". In "The New Gender Wars", published in the November/December 2000 issue of "Psychology Today", Sarah Blustain sums up the "bio-social" model proposed by Mice Eagly, a professor of psychology at Northwestern University and a former student of his, Wendy Wood, now a professor at the Texas A&M University: "Like (the evolutionary psychologists), Eagly and Wood reject social constructionist notions that all gender differences are created by culture. But to the question of where they come from, they answer differently: not our genes but our roles in society. This narrative focuses on how societies respond to the basic biological differences - men's strength and women's reproductive capabilities - and how they encourage men and women to follow certain patterns. 'If you're spending a lot of time nursing your kid', explains Wood, 'then you don't have the opportunity to devote large amounts of time to developing specialized skills and engaging tasks outside of the home'. And, adds Eagly, 'if women are charged with caring for infants, what happens is that women are more nurturing. Societies have to make the adult system work [so] socialization of girls is arranged to give them experience in nurturing'. According to this interpretation, as the environment changes, so will the range and texture of gender differences. At a time in Western countries when female reproduction is extremely low, nursing is totally optional, childcare alternatives are many, and mechanization lessens the importance of male size and strength, women are no longer restricted as much by their smaller size and by child-bearing. That means, argue Eagly and Wood, that role structures for men and women will change and, not surprisingly, the way we socialize people in these new roles will change too. (Indeed, says Wood, 'sex differences seem to be reduced in societies where men and women have similar status,' she says. If you're looking to live in more gender-neutral environment, try Scandinavia.)" penis enlarement technique top penis enlarement pills penis enlargment picture penile enlargment photo penile enlargment testimonials plastic surgery penis elargement penis enhancement doctor enlagement manhattan penis surgeon

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Don’t let Diabetes bring your Sex Life to a Halt! In answer to the repeated question of erectile dysfunction, (the medical term for impotence), it has taken me 12 years to research, develop and trial a special herbal formula - as I made it my mission to help, believing as I do there is no reason why diabetes should bring a couple’s sex life to a halt! I’m going to tell you more about my work shortly. But before I do so, I thought it might prove useful to look at Diabetes generally.’ In the United States around 5% of the population has Diabetes. In cases of Diabetes Mellitus this results from a defect in the production of insulin by the pancreas. There are two types of diabetes which are now recognized: the juvenile (Type I), seen in children and young adults, and the maturity–onset type, (Type II), seen usually in obese individuals over forty. For the purpose of this report I am concentrating on the maturity-onset type where often due to prolonged obesity, there occurs a reduction in insulin receptors in target cells (i.e., a down-regulation of the receptors), due to high and steady insulin production. Each of us has a specific number of fat cells which is fixed in infancy. As we gain weight, these cells become enlarged and the number of glucose receptor sites decreases so that ever less glucose can be received and used by the cells. Without sufficient insulin to carry it into the cells where it can be used for energy, or without available receptor sites, glucose accumulates in the blood until some of the surplus is eliminated by the kidneys and passed off in the urine. So typically when the ingestion of an over abundance of insulin inducing foods such as refined carbohydrates and convenience ‘junk’ food) occurs the pancreas can no longer produce enough insulin to restore optimal blood glucose levels. In this condition, the available insulin is ineffective, resulting in signs similar to complete insulin deficiency, hyperglycemia, (high blood sugar levels), glycosuria, (extra glucose spills over in urine), polydipsia, (great thirst leading to increased water intake), and weight loss. How do you know you have Type II Diabetes? Easy fatigue – because the body is not getting enough fuel. Drowsiness, itching, blurred vision, excessive weight, tingling or numbness in the extremities, skin infections and slow healing of cuts and scratches especially on the feet. Because of the accumulation of sugar in the blood, the kidneys are hard-pressed to get rid of it, so you will probably be excessively thirsty and passing more urine than usual. Another prominent suspicious sign is an unexplained loss of sexual desire. Always seek advise from your medical advisor who can arrange the appropriate tests. What can I do about this condition? If you are a diabetic you are probably well aware of the effects of high glycemic foods and the need to maintain blood sugar surges. So what follows are a number of additional key recommendations: •Eat a high-complex-carbohydrate, low-fat, high fiber diet including plenty of raw fruits and vegetables as well as fresh fruit juices. This Reduces the need for insulin and also lowers the level of fats in the blood. Fiber helps to reduce blood sugar surges. For snacks, eat oat or rice bran crackers with nut butter or cheese. Legumes, root vegetables, and whole grains are also good. •Avoid saturated fats and simple sugars (except when necessary to balance an insulin reaction). •Get your protein from vegetable sources, such as grains and legumes. Fish and low-fat dairy products are also acceptable sources of protein. •Supplement your diet with spirulina. Spirulina helps to stabilize blood sugar levels. Other foods that help normalize blood sugar include berries, brewer’s yeast, dairy products (especially cheese), egg yolks, fish, garlic, kelp, sauerkraut, soybeans, and vegetables. •Do not take fish oil capsules or supplements containing large amounts of para-aminobenzoic acid (PABA), and avoid salt and white flour products. Consumption of these products results in an elevation of blood sugar. •Do not take supplements containing the amino acid cysteine. It has the ability to break down the bonds of the hormone insulin and interferes with absorption of insulin by the cells. •Avoid taking large amounts of vitamin B3 (Niacin). However, small amounts (50 to 100 milligrams daily), taken as a supplement may be beneficial. Circulatory effects of Diabetes – How does that effect me? For reasons not completely understood, Type II diabetes if untreated, can lead to vascular diseases that among other things, causes blindness, atherosclerosis, heart attacks, kidney disease, and gangrene. What we do know for certain is that in excess, insulin has the power to make arteries less elastic. It also acts as a growth hormone on smooth muscle cells in the walls of the arteries, causing them to increase in thickness, become stiffer and less supple, while at the same time decreasing the volume within the arteries. Let’s look closer at effects that cause erectile dysfunction…… The subject of impotence usually remains behind closed doors, however, some physicians speculate that as many as 70 percent of diabetic men are impotent. In obese men this is related to an over abundance of oestrogen (a female hormone), which in turn desensitises the skeletal muscles to the action of insulin. Diabetes can damage the nerves, (neuropathy), the erectile tissue and small blood vessels in the penis. Neuropathy may mean there is less sensation in the penis and less signalling to it from the brain, making it more difficult to get and maintain an erection. Damage to the blood vessels will also prevent erectile tissue from filling with blood. This is why diabetes and erectile dysfunction are closely linked. What other factors play a part in erectile dysfunction? It may be that medications taken for diabetes, high blood pressure or for other conditions can be the cause. Drinking too much and smoking can also cause the problem. Psychological and emotional factors such as anxiety depression and stress are also important. What you can do to overcome erectile dysfunction Talk to your doctor. Because erectile dysfunction is a common diabetes-related problem, your doctor won’t be surprised when you mention the topic. The doctor can check if there are significant problems with the arteries or the nervous system as occasionally these aspects might need special attention in their own right. Control your blood sugar. If blood glucose levels are kept in the normal range, it will help reduce the chance of this problem occurring. Avoid tobacco. If you smoke-STOP! Smoking can cause blood vessels to narrow, contributing to blockages that can lead to erectile dysfunction. Smoking can also decrease nitric oxide levels, (which controls the circulation of blood, and transmits messages between nerve cells. As a result deficiency includes the inability to achieve and sustain normal erections). Avoid excessive alcohol. As a rule of thumb men should restrict their intake to no more than two alcoholic drinks a day. Drinking excessive amounts of alcohol can cause erectile dysfunction by damaging blood vessels. Maintaining normal blood pressure is important. In addition to smoking, and drinking excess alcohol please note that diabetics who control their condition reduce the risk of hypertension. I have 12 more strategies: Watch your weight: In over weight people, a 10 percent reduction in total body weight will sometimes normalize blood pressure. Compute your Body Mass Index: Multiply your weight in pounds by 703; then divide by your height in inches; then again divide by your height in inches. Try to stay between 18.5 and 24.9. Regular exercise minimizes the chance of developing impotence and can restore sexual function in some men. In general, if you haven’t been exercising, try to work up to 30 minutes, 4 to 6 times a week. Please bear in mind the importance of eating more carbohydrates before exercise. Exercise produces an insulin-like effect in the body. Your doctor may make a different recommendation based on your health. If you can’t carry on a conversation while you exercise, you may be overdoing it. So in this case it is best to alternate exercise days with rest days to prevent injuries. Beware of salt: No more than 6grams per day, many processed foods are sodium rich including soy sauce and canned soups. Choose Potassium rich foods instead: Beware of Sodas, which deplete potassium. Top Potassium Foods Potassium rich foods include:- * Lentils 730mg 1 cup Banana 450mg medium * Kidney beans 700mg 1 cup Avocado 550mg half * Prune juice 700mg 8oz Carrot (raw) 232mg medium * Tomato juice 652mg 6oz Milk 381mg 8oz * Chick peas 470mg 1 cup Orange juice 474mg 8oz Check your blood for cholesterol and triglyceride levels. I recommend you obtain an excellent eBook at www.beatingcholesterol.com Eat plenty of high fiber foods which are found in many vegetables and whole grains. Reject refined foods: Natural wholefoods are the best – Not processed. Avoid fried foods, saturated/hydrogenated fats and avoid hidden fats, especially trans fats which are a greater risk than even saturated fats- check the food labels. Importance of vitamin C: Make sure you have adequate amounts of this vital vitamin as it has been shown that the less vitamin C in the blood, the higher the blood pressure in hypertensive patients. Suggested dose with bioflavonoids such as Bilberry 3,000-6,000 mg daily, in divided doses. Vitamin E: Evidence suggests that vitamin E also magnifies vitamin C’s blood pressure-lowering effects. Start with 100 IU daily and add 100 IU daily each month, until you reach 400 IU daily. As much as possible avoid stress: Always ensure some “Me Time”, a great way to achieve this is putting 5 drops each of lemon balm and lavender essential oils in warm bath water. Be sure to get sufficient sleep: High blood pressure patients deprived of sleep experience significant increases in blood pressure, especially during the evening. Consult a urologist. They can help assess your condition, determine its cause, and identify safe and effective treatments. Fortunately the treatment of erectile dysfunction in diabetes has improved considerably over the last decade. In addition to a number of devices, some men with diabetes can get relief for their sexual problems from medications such as sildenafil (Viagra), tadalafil (Cialis), or vardenafil (Levitra). However, I have collected data, that many people who were utilising Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra reported that sometimes these drugs do not work at all. I believe that when your system is low in testosterone, (the male hormone), Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra do not seem to impart their full-proof effect. I have discovered two herbs that mimic the action of Viagra together with two traditional herbal testosterone boosters. I then completed the formula with additional herbs to increase circulation and act as an aphrodisiac. Properties of Herbs Responsible for assisting ED from my research and formulation. Maca-Increases desire, promotes mental alertness and a positive frame of mind Horny Goat Weed-The extract has now been clinically tested and found not only to increase the sexual desire but also helps in the reversal of impotency symptoms Muira Puama-Dr Jacques Wayneburg: According to a clinical study with 262 patients at the institute of sexology, Paris France. 262 patients complaining of lack of sexual desire and the inability to maintain an erection were used as subjects in a clinical trial for 4 weeks. 62% of patients claimed that the treatment with Muira Puama had a dynamic effect while 51% with ED felt great benefit. TribulusTerrestris-Studies have shown that treatment with this herb has led to a better than 50% increase in testosterone levels by increasing the luteinizing hormone. Tongkat Ali-It is now clinically tested in university Sains Malaysia, in the Department of Pharmacology and it is known to boost the testosterone levels by 400 times in men of all ages. Viagra like Action. Xanthoparmelia Scabrosa-Principal activity of this herb is to inhibit PDE5 enzyme so that you can maintain erection longer. Cnidium Monnieri-It is mainly used as a natural libido booster. The seeds are also used in the treatment of impotence, it has been shown to have an action similar to the sex hormones, prolonging and reviving the copulation period. Ginkgo Biloba-At the Seoul national university medical school in Korea, promising research is being undertaken on Ginkgo Biloba's affect on smooth muscle relaxation on the human corpus cavernosum. This is the tissue area of the penis which when relaxed blocks the flow of blood away from the penis, thus maintaining an erection. Finally, please remember that you are as unique as your fingerprint, so what works for one person may not work for another. Having said that, I really believe there is hope for anyone suffering from diabetic impotence, it is just a question of exploring the many options and taking responsibility for this condition. top penis enlarement pills pnis enlargement pump homemade penis enlargement penile enlargement supplement home penile enlargement natural penis enargement pills pennis enlargement drug enlargement forum free matter penis size does penis enhancement work

"My girlfriend dumped me because she says I 'wasn't there' when we made love. She's not the first to say this. I know something's wrong. Can hypnotherapy help me?" Your sexual dysfunction means you engage in sex more as an observer than as a participant. You hold yourself back from entering a trance state; you have difficulty "letting go." There are several ways in which a qualified hypnotherapist can help you to conquer this problem. Before using hypnosis it is essential that you receive competent medical advice. Hypnotherapy will have a particular focus depending on whether the problem is organic or psychological. Organic sexual problems require medical intervention. Hypnotherapy may be used as an adjunct, for instance, in helping you to heal faster after an operation. More frequently, sexual difficulties treated by a hypnotherapist concern psychological issues. Since the process deals with your mind all sexual activity during hypnotherapy takes place only in your imagination. What you learn through hypnotherapy is practiced privately elsewhere. Hypnotherapy may be used to heighten your sensual involvement and to help you to be fully present while engaging in sex. A common, effective use of hypnotherapy is to lower your anxiety. The anticipation of failure (particularly for men anxious about their ability to have or to maintain an erection) brings on anxious feelings. These in turn bring about the failure. Hypnotherapy ends this vicious circle and replaces the anticipation of failure with the certainty of success and confidence. Traditional sex therapy methods are more readily accepted by you when in hypnosis because the conscious, judgmental, analytical part of your mind is temporarily set aside. Your subconscious then absorbs the new, positive messages you've asked the hypnotherapist to create. Precisely because hypnosis taps into the autonomic nervous system, a person can use it to improve or alter functions that normally happen without conscious control, e.g., a man's erection. Charles, a 27-years-old former sailor and currently an electrician, consulted a hypnotherapist because he was too fearful to have sex with his wife. They'd been married three years and had had sexual difficulties since the birth of their daughter eight months previously. Charles was afraid he'd been embarrassed once again if he tried to make love. "Kim laughed at me the first time and now she just gives me a look of disgust." Why? Because he couldn't maintain an erection. Charles felt humiliated and frustrated; he worried that he'd never again have satisfactory sex with his wife. His dream of fathering a son seemed unattainable. He told the hypnotherapist that he had no problem masturbating when alone. This was a likely indicator that Charles' problem was psychological, not organic. As was Charles' report that he always had a firm erection when having sex with the occasional housewife in whose home he was doing electrical work. To be on the safe side, the hypnotherapist advised Charles to be examined by a medical specialist to be absolutely sure there was no organic cause for his ED. The doctor confirmed that Charles' trouble was "100 per cent psychogenic," meaning that for some emotional or psychological reason, he could not maintain an erection. Of course, the more Charles tried, and the more he worried, the more flaccid was his penis. The hypnotherapist explained to Charles that hypnosis could be used to uncover the cause of his trouble, or to tackle the symptom, or both. Charles, being the impatient type, and of course eager to end his humiliating experiences, opted for the "quick fix." Over the course of three sessions of hypnotherapy, Charles relived successful love-making episodes from his younger years as a Navy "stud." Then the therapist used a melding technique to encourage Charles to see himself (in his imagination, while hypnotized) from now on once again enjoying a full, firm erection well beyond the time needed to satisfy his partner. Positive suggestions were also made by the hypnotherapist to Charles about his prowess, his confidence and his desirability to his wife. For three months Charles and Kim had a wonderful sex life. Then he lost an erection just as foreplay had become hot and heavy. Kim, hurt and disappointed, reacted with sarcasm. All Charles' fears and anxieties rushed back. He returned to the hypnotherapist. This time Charles agreed to investigate the cause of his impotence. The hypnotherapist used various approaches -- age regression, age progression (in which the "future" Charles was to explain how he'd conquered the problem) analogue symbolic imagery -- but nothing worked. In a subsequent session, with Charles relaxed in hypnosis, the therapist told Charles he'd have a dream. His subconscious would provide this dream as a way, either directly or symbolically, to explain the origin of his impotence. Three nights later Charles dreamed he was outside a factory. It was night time and the factory loomed dark and mysterious. Charles felt a strong urge to scale the steel fence that surrounded the factory. Then he tried to find away in. All the doors were shut and padlocked. A security guard ("very scary, because he had my face," said Charles) told him to go away. But Charles persisted in his eagerness to enter the factory. He ran from the guard, to the back of the building. Here was the loading dock. Charles saw a bulldozer there. He jumped into its cab and began to operate the controls. The guard reappeared, feebly told Charles to get off the property, to go to his own place. In the distance, Charles could see a stately castle which he somehow knew belonged to him. But his only interest was in the dark factory. The guard shrugged. Charles started up the bulldozer and charged the heavy machine toward the small back door of the factory. As the bulldozer began to rumble forward, Charles awoke -- with a massive erection. The dream puzzled Charles. But it enlightened the therapist. To him it revealed that Charles was in the grip of the Madonna/Whore complex. This is the attitude that divides women into "good" and "bad." Thus, a man's wife and especially mother, are "good." Prostitutes, other men's wives and and women of ethnic groups other than the man's own, are "bad." "Bad" women are exciting; "good" women are boring. Sex is forbidden with "good" women but possible with the "bad." A man with this complex may have sex with his wife occasionally, or until she becomes a mother, or while a post-hypnotic suggestion lasts. But his heart is not in it. Neither is his penis. However, with a "bad" woman he has no commitment, no respect. She is there to be used. His conscience (the security guard) barely bothers him about penetrating the stranger (the dark factory) but, perversely, does prevent him enjoying "his" woman (the castle). When Charles heard this explanation, he nodded in agreement. This was indeed his view. And that of his father, uncle and most of his friends. He had no serious interest in changing this outlook, especially since Kim had announced she was pregnant. The hypnotherapist's suggestion that Charles and Kim seek marriage counselling fell on deaf ears. A lawyer we shall call Mathilde did seek help from a psychotherapist. She had told the referring doctor that she rarely had an orgasm. The truth was that Mathilde never had an orgasm -- with her husband. She'd been faking it for years. But she had climaxed with previous boyfriends. Also during a two-night stand a few months ago. Mathilde had been a speaker at a lawyers' convention a thousand miles from home. There she met Roger, a brooding electrical engineer who had been trouble-shooting the hotel's elevators. "He was not particularly good-looking but he had these soft grey eyes," Mathilde confided to the therapist. She smiled. "He was brutal in bed." Mathilde was mildly surprised to find herself telling the male therapist details she had not felt comfortable confiding to her female doctor. There was no question of her wanting to leave the marriage. She loved her husband, had a marvellous life. All that was missing ws the joy of orgasm. It was something she yearned for. Until she met Roger the lack of orgasms with her husband had not bothered her much. Mathilde had become used to pretending -- and to satisfying herself in secret. The therapist faced two dilemmas: i) perhaps, despite Mathilde's conscious denials, there was some problem between her and her husband ii) the therapist usually worked with couples, not individuals, on such sexual challenges. He decided that, given the husband was not present and would be unlikely to come to future sessions, he would work with Mathilde, and he would use hypnotherapy. If the outcome was successful, there would be no need to explore possible conflicts between husband and wife. First the therapist explained a little about hypnosis and how it could help Mathilde. Her first session was devoted to her simply relaxing into hypnosis, and becoming familiar with how safe and peaceful it felt. In Mathilde's second and third sessions of hypnosis the therapist suggested Mathilde silently relive an earlier experience of orgasm. In her mind she was to take particular note of the physical and emotional feelings which allowed her to climax. When the orgasm in her imagination was over she would open her eyes, though remain in hypnosis. Then the therapist pointed out, and Mathilde confirmed, that she had been internally very relaxed just prior to making love. And that during foreplay and intercourse, she became "lost" in the pleasure. The therapist asked Mathilde to again close her eyes and this time to imagine herself in bed with her husband. Again she could relive the details silently, no need to tell the therapist anything, except when the imagined lovemaking was over. When Mathilde compared the earlier experience with how she felt when making love with her husband she immediately noticed her tension. "I am not relaxed and I don't get lost in the act." Sometimes she thought about cases she was working on and at other times she focused on making sure her husband was satisfied. In the next part of the session the therapist first gave Mathilde suggestions that she could allow herself to relax with her husband, that she could allow herself to climax with him. The therapist again waited silently while Mathilde played the scene through in her mind. When she signalled (with a broad smile) that the scene had reached a successful end, the therapist closed the session with positive suggestions about Mathilde allowing herself to be relaxed, focused on pleasure and allowed to climax when making love with her husband. And so it was. * * * Hypnotherapy has also been used successfully to overcome other sexual problems such as overlubrication, exhibitionism, and to uncover the reason a client became a transvestite. Before seeking help with a sexual difficulty it is important to be sure it really is a problem. For example, a man may go to a therapist because he believes he suffers from premature ejaculation. But if the man is married to a woman who dislikes sex, indeed "wants it over with as soon as possible," that's exactly what is happening, so where's the problem? Twenty-five years old Eugene's problem was real enough: he could not become erect. A handsome, single, bus driver, Eugene had had several medical examinations; all the doctors had concluded there was no medical cause for his impotence. At first, hypnotherapy did not help Eugene. He became more and more despondent about his failure, scared to date and unable to sleep at night. The hypnotherapist had used approaches one or more of which usually resolve psychogenic impotence: > positive suggestions > aversive therapy > satisfying imagery > arm rigidity But nothing worked. The hypnotherapist finally decided to enlist the guidance of Eugene's subsconscious through finger signalling and direct relay of images in response to questions. (With finger signalling -- also known as an ideodynamic technique -- a hypnotized person allows the subconscious to answer questions with predesignated fingers that represent "Yes," "No," "Don't Know," and "Not yet ready to answer"). This approach proved fruitful, although at first puzzling. Hypnotherapist: "I'm going to ask your subconscious some questions. There's no need for you to think about the questions or the answers. Simply allow your subconscious to respond through the fingers it has selected. You will probably feel a tingling begin in the finger that the subsconscious selects. Then it will lift as though of its own accord. Now, I'd like to ask your subconscious if there is a purpose served by Eugene's impotence?" [This question is often answered "yes" and subsequently leads to an explanation such as a desire to punish self or partner for some reason]. [Fimger responses are indicated with ( )]. Eugene: (No). H: "Does the cause of the problem lie in Eugene's past?" E: (Yes). [This response steered the hypnotherapist along the wrong path. He took no account of the literalness with which the subconscious absorbs information. Consequently, the hypnotherapist understood the "Yes" response to mean that there was a specific event, a trauma or a message, that began Eugene's impotence. As was later revealed, the "cause in the past" referred, not to a particular event, but to an ongoing process.] H: "Did the cause happen before Eugene was 20?" E: (Yes). H: "Did the cause happen before Eugene was 15?" E: (Yes). H: "Before 10?" E: (No). [Now the hypnotherapist, who erroneously assumes some single event happened, switches from finger responses to image responses]. H: "Okay. I'm going to ask the subconscious to present to your mind an image that is somehow connected to the problem we're dealing with." E: "I'm in a shop. I don't know how old I am but a man picks me up. I'm very scared. He holds me to him. Someone else comes in and tells the man to put me down." [The hypnotherapist thinks that it is possible something happened in the shop to subsequently cause Eugene to become impotent. However, further questioning reveals that Eugene sees little more than he has already reported. There appears to be no abuse, no negative messages (such as "You'll never be a man.") The session is drawing to a close so the therapist reverts to ideomatic questioning. He decided to check the medical verdicts]. H: "Does the problem have any medical basis to it?" E: [Long pause]. (No). H: "Is there something physical that would help?" E: (No). H: "Is there something missing in Eugene's diet, or something he should not be eating or drinking?" E: (Don't know/don't want to answer yet). [Eugene snaps out of hypnosis, much to his own surprise. In previous sessions for other problems Eugene had enjoyed hypnosis so much he had been reluctant to emerge. He puts himself back into hypnosis]. H: "Okay. Our time is nearly up. I want to thank your subconscious for its help. I'm now asking it to provide you with a dream that will give you a strong indication on how to solve the problem that brought you here." [Eugene once again snaps out of hypnosis]. H: "Wow. We're clearly close to something significant, otherwise you wouldn't come out so suddenly." E: "I don't understand why. But while you were talking about me having a dream something floated into my mind: smoking." H: [Incredulous]. "You smoke!" E: "Yes, a lot." H: "There you are. That's what your subconscious was telling us: the cause of your impotence is smoking! Have you stopped before?" E: "Yes. For a while." H: "And did you have erections okay then?" E: [Thinks back]. "Yes, I did. I did." [And the shop? Why did the subconscious throw that memory into Eugene's mind? Perhaps because the shop sold cigarettes.] Copyright (c) 2005 Bryan M. 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